Do you ever feel... like you're at a loss?

When someone has died or has gone away.

Feelings:
The most important thing to remember about grief is that it can effect different people in different ways. When someone close to you dies you suddenly have a lot of difficult emotions to deal with.

Whether the death was expected or not, you will feel shock and many other emotions.

	At first you may feel numb, you might even go through disbelief. If the person who has died was particularly close to you, you may expect them to walk through the door at any time.
	You might feel guilty and begin to blame yourself about the death. If you feel this way, try to think rationally about your feelings. Blaming yourself will only make things worse.
	You may feel that you don't understand what has happened to you. It is highly unlikely that you've ever experienced anything like this before. It is all very natural and normal, so try not to panic. Bereavement can be emotionally draining; you could feel depressed and begin to think about your own death. This sounds horrible, but it's a perfectly normal reaction.
	You could go off food and you may find it hard to sleep, and as a result become tired and irritable, especially when you are trying to concentrate on school or work. These effects usually pass with time.
	The grief feelings may emerge later. This is because we sometimes can't deal with strong feelings straghtaway, and birthdays and other dates may bring back memories.
	As you start to rebuild and carry on with your life, the feelings of shock, numbness and panic will fade. The bereavement will have brought about great changes in your life, and in time you will learn to cope with these.

Funerals:-
You may have never been to a funeral before and you'll probably want to know what it will be like, so ask someone. There might be a wake, a gathering of a family and friends before or after the service. If you feel that you don't want to go, see if you can find a friend or family member to get out of it with you.

Friends, School And Support :-
At the time of the death, people will be very supportive, and rally around you. You will most likely get a lot more attention than you are used to. This is very nice and helpful at the time, but it will fade off later. People have their own lives to get on with and so do you. It may be a good idea to make sure all your teachers know, so that they will understand if you seem a bit quiet or upset. Have a work with your form teacher or head of year and they will pass it on to the rest of the staff. If you are finding it difficult to cope with your workload as well as your grief, talk to your teachers and explain your situation. They should understand your problem and you can work together to reach a compromise.

Coping and getting on :-
You've just gone through, quite possibly one of the worst experiences in your life, and from now on you have to focus on getting yourself back on track. At first it will seem awful carrying on without the person you have lost. It can seem as if there is a big gap in your life.

Try to remember the person who has died. It may be painful at first, but memories are really important. Keep photographs and letters, it might be awful to look at them now, but in later years you will be glad you have them.

Sometimes you will have a really awful day, when you feel you can't cope. You will feel anxious, tearful and tires. But you will also get really great days when you feel very hopeful and optimistic. The only thing that can really head the pain of your grief is time; in a year things could look very different, in five years … who knows? Look to the future, but don't forget the past.

Getting Help From Others:-
Don't feel bad if you decide to have counselling. It's not at all unusual, in fact, it can be the best thing for you. You don't have to tell anyone if you are embarrassed about it.

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